Questions are something that every parent has. Parents of multiples have more than twice as many.
So, there's going to be questions. You've just found out you're having multiples. What comes next? For some, it's panic. For others, it's planning time. Whichever type you are, though, you're going to have questions.
We have put together a list of answers to the top 21 questions from parents of twins, triplets, and quads that we hear most often (along with the questions we had ourselves starting out). Our hope is that this list will help new and upcoming parents of twins, triplets, and more!
Don't see your questions here? Ask them in the comments, and we'll get them answered!!!
1.“What’s the first year like?”
The first year is really a blur...once they start sleeping through the night it starts to get easier. It helps to have help and never turn it down. Communication is key. Make sure to talk and listen to your partner.- Marc Bradley Mitchell Here are some tips on surviving the first month with twins. This will get some of your questions answered and get you started towards that full first year.
2. "Should I buy two kinds of twin strollers?"
This is a lifestyle thing. There's an inline, and there's the side-by-side. Inline is a lot easier for going down grocery aisles, but I wouldn't want to take a long walk with it! We ended up having both styles, but the side-by-side got more use (and we got it second-hand... your infants do not care how new a stroller is). What you really need to ask yourself is how easy is it to collapse and put away with one hand... cause you ain't gonna have two free hands for a long time! -Andy Shaw
3. “Will having twins (or more) be the same as having one baby?”
The expecting multiples parents I've spoken with have literally NO IDEA what to expect, but they think it will be as hard as having one baby to look after. What I tell them is that is more than that. It is having constant vigilance over two small lives who are depending on you for everything and usually at the same time. Enjoy it as much as you can. It will get different with each stage the kids go through, and you'll have more questions. It's o.k. That's what we're here for. -Jeff Jackson
4. “When should you start baby proofing?”
Babies generally start crawling somewhere between 6 and 10 months. That means that you, the parents of a newborn, have plenty of time to do the baby proofing needed to keep those little ankle-biting crawlers safe, right? Wrong! Baby proofing takes money and time. The sooner you can get started on it, the better. That way, you can piece it out little by little. The to-do list of baby proofing is extensive. -Mickey Farmer
5. “Should you put the babies on a schedule?”
Schedule? More like a routine. If you’re Type A or nursing, you’ll definitely want to do this. Feed them at the same time. Let them sleep at the same time. One up, both up! It’ll help you keep your sanity. Read more for answers to questions about sleep training your children to get them on the same schedule. -Abi Nathan
6. "With twins, do we need 1 changing table or 2?"
Just one. We just added it to the top of the dresser to save space, but the only time we really use it is when they are going in their cribs. All other times, we just do it on our bed or the floor. -Paulo Gomes
Changing tables are nice, but we used the couch and the floor more. As long as you have diapers and wipes in every room, you'll be fine.
7. “How many bottles do we need to buy?”
We went with Dr Brown bottles as that is what they used in the nicu. Since the kids were eating every 3 hours, and given the fact the bottles came in packs of 3, we ended up buying 9 for each kid. We also bought a Dr Browns pitcher. This way we only had to do bottles once a day. We’d wash bottles and make enough formula for the next day right before we went to bed (for 2 hours). We also used different color bottles. For us it was easy as we have boy/girl twins but even if you have same gender I would suggest assigning each a color. It makes it easier so there were no questions about who ate what. -Bill Boldman
8. “Will I ever sleep again?”
Adjusting to life with a newborn is one of the most difficult things a parent will go through. Adjusting to life with newborn multiples is even more challenging. Doing so on little to no sleep is next to impossible. Do yourself, and your little ones a favor, try some of these sleep training strategies to help you and your babies get the sleep you all deserve. - Ashley Espionoza
9. “Do you need 2 cribs?”
You need one crib per child. Giving the baby their own space to sleep, devoid of anything that can hinder their breathing, helps avoid SIDS. So, no pillows, crib bumpers, blankets, toys, stuffed animals...or other babies! - Mickey Farmer
10. “Do I need to warm milk/formula?”
Absolutely not! Our NICU nurse told us cold formula is no different than warm, so we never warmed ours. We saved so much time this way, especially during the nighttime feedings early on. - Amelia Swart Davitt
11. “When and how do you potty train?”
When it came time to potty training our sons, I’ll be honest…I was terrified. If you do it too soon, they’ll become frustrated (as will you) and the process will take longer. Too late, and you’re severely limited on which preschools you choose, as most expect your child to have the act semi-mastered. When we first started researching the subject, there were 1000 articles covering potty-training on-line, and each had a different method. The good news, is that we made it through pretty unscathed, and you can too, if you follow these simple guidelines. - Kevin Zelenka
12. “How long should you wait before taking your babies to a restaurant?”
This is different per child, so it’s up to you to decide when they’re ready based on how they behave. My wife and I have a 5 year old son, and 3 year old twins. While we don’t go out to eat with the kiddos often, it’s usually because of the cost, as opposed to us just not wanting to. It also means that it’s not often we hire a sitter and sneak out on our own. When we DO get a chance to throw caution to the wind and indulge in dining out with the whole family, we’ve found that there are certain dos and don’ts that can make or break an evening. - Vernon Gibbs II
13. “When should we transition from bottles to sippy cups?”
Each child is different, which by virtue means that each child will likely have different methods of learning and responding to myriad stimuli. In the case of the sippy cup, there is no one right way. However, here are some basics to help your children move to cups. - Jeffrey Bernstein
14. “When should you take your baby or toddler to the doctor?”
Knowing when you should take your baby or toddler to the doctor is often tricky. While you don't want to over-look something that may be serious, you also don't want to have to travel all the way in, wait in the office, pay the co-pay, expose your child to all of the germs associated with doctors' offices, just to find out it was something that was of little worry. Sometimes it's what we do. We're parents. It can be difficult to diagnose a problem, as the children are too young to tell you what’s wrong with them. The trick is knowing the symptoms and what to look for. We've compiled the typical symptoms of the 6 common ailments you'll find within the first 2 years, and a guide to know when it’s time to head to see a professional. - Mickey Farmer
15. “When do you transition to ‘big kid’ beds?”
There are many things that signify entry into the “Big Kid” club. After potty training, I can think of none as important as transitioning out of a crib and into a “Big Kid” bed. I wish it was as easy as tearing down the cribs, setting the new beds up, and moving on. As you know, nothing with toddlers is ever that simple. There are lot of things that you have to consider before making the move. These handy tips will hopefully make the transition go much smoother. - Kevin Zelenka
16. "When do you make the move from bottles to solid food?"
Usually, the transition begins in its early stages at around 5 months. However, it depends on the development, individually, of your child. I remember 3 sets of eyes staring at me intently whenever I ate something! Babies may be ready when they watch you eat or reach for your food. Your baby should be able to sit in a high chair or feeding seat with good head control. They also must be able to open their mouth when they see food coming towards it and be able to move the food from the spoon into their mouth. - Paul Kahalewai For more information, check out our article answering questions about the topic.
17. “So, what goes in a diaper bag?”
You need food, diapers and other changing supplies, and entertainment to keep the kids happy. With twins, you need double, so you’ll need a big bag! We’ve made a handy checklist for stocking your bag. - Aaron Lunceford
18. “I Know about cribs and changing tables, but do we need 2 of everything else?”
Not of everything, but you do need two of some things. 1 swing. 1 bouncy chair. Variety is good because you never know which baby is going to like what. As they get older, 2 of the same toys becomes a need to reduce fights! - Caitlin Mary Elizabeth Sheffield
If both your kids turn out to enjoy a swing or a jumper, then yes, you need two so they can enjoy them at the same time. As for two bathers for the tub? No, keep them together, saves time. - Laura Tabor Pasquith
19. “What kind of pillow do you need? A ‘Twin Z’, ‘Twin Brest Friend’, or just 2 ‘Boppy’ pillows?
Depends. For nursing, go with the Twin Brest Friend. With bottle feeding, the Twin Z or 2 Boppies are best for assisting with sitting up as they get older.- Candace Sharp
20. “Will I need a minivan or an SUV?”
Minivans have sliding doors that help prevent your children from banging the cars parked beside you, captain’s chairs, more cargo space, good fuel economy, and they’re lower to the ground. SUV’s are higher off the ground for better sight, heavier, absorb crashes better, have towing capabilities. So, while both will handle a gaggle of kids, look at the advantages of each, and decide which would better fit your lifestyle. - Jeff Jackson
21. “How can I support their individuality?”
Dress them differently. Don’t refer to them as a unit, such as “the twins.” Read more about helping your children with their individuality. - Abi Nathan
There! Answers to most of the questions you've had and some you haven't even thought to ask yet.
Feeling better? Feeling prepared? Breath. You can do this!
Be sure to check out our other parenting advice.
* Also published on FamiliesofMultiples.com