*Also published on FamiliesofMultiples.com
I sat and reflected on some memories over coffee the other morning.
I used to have a game I would do with my twin boys that we’d done since before they could really even walk. Back then, they called it “ride back” because that was how they asked for it. As in “ride back?” I would throw one on my shoulders and run laps around the house with the other one (now that they’ve gotten older) chasing me. Then, we’d switch.
Sadly, a few years ago, I noticed they hadn’t asked for the game in a while. It got me thinking about the other things they no longer asked for.
Things they no longer did.
I was also reminded that there are other things yet to stop, but those rituals will eventually come to an end, as well. You just never know when the last time something will be. So, my wife and I looked through pictures of our boys. The memories and reminders of the little things they no longer did. Yes, it was a parent pity party as we tearfully, yet happily, reminisced. One picture we found was of one of our sons standing on the ground holding his arms up in the air to be picked up. When my twins were little, they’d hop up and down in front of us at our feet saying, “me,” which meant they wanted to be carried. I took a picture of one of these “me” moments to remember them forever.
Oh, and those toothless baby grins…
Sure, it’s a great right of passage when that first tooth comes in, but with the arrival of the first tooth, the cute toothless grin is gone forever.
Then, there’s the cute little words toddlers say, like “yittle” instead of “little” and so on. Ours declared EVERY snack was to be named “Ca-Ca”…whether it was actually cake or chips, cookies, whatever. The boys requesting “Ca-ca” in the grocery store had us receive some strange looks.
My boys are now 9. There are no more “me” moments. Those toddler words are gone. While I’ve memorialized many of our boys words in canvas word art as a gift to my wife, the words are no longer said. Now, we don’t do “ride back”. Today…we went to a Chic-fil-a, and I saw for the first time that my kids are borderline too big for the play area. Or, if I’m truthful with myself, they ARE too big. I’ll miss all of those things. Each and every thing my kids used to do that they no longer do.
Each stage they’ve grown out of.
However, each day brings new experiences as well. The new jokes. New games. The new ways to connect with my sons that years from now, those too I will miss. Each thing gone brings a new thing to treasure. New ways of being father. New ways they can be sons to me. We try new activities, we continue to do new things together.
On the one hand, it’s both depressing and bittersweet. On the other, these are all wonderfully happy memories and memories yet to be made. This is why we should all try to cherish every moment. We should try not to be annoyed or angered by childish whining or antics because these too will fade away without us noticing. This is why I try to push my kids in the swing every time they ask. I hit every scouting and school event I can. This is why I cherished every “ride back”.
I’ll never say No to moments like these. You have to enjoy it while it lasts, because even those whiny moments will be missed. When you start noticing things no longer happening…even the silliest thing, like an Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoon episode where Theodore says he doesn’t need Dave as much anymore…can bring you to tears.
Just remember, kids are supposed to grow up. Ushering them along that path is your job.
Cherish those moments, and cherish that job!