Many things go into the search for the best babysitter. Finding the one who will not only be the best fit with your children, but also be the most responsible and trustworthy.
There are tons of articles out there, sharing how to find the perfect sitter, but people often forget where the real difficulty lies. Being able to keep a great employee once you’ve found one that fits your needs. It is sometimes just as important to be the right type of employer.
If you think your babysitter isn’t sizing you up each and every visit, think again.
There are things that parents do that babysitters may not like and may not want to deal with. So, for example, if you have a little troublemaker…or worse MULTIPLE troublemakers, it may be hard for you to convince a babysitter to keep coming back. And, be careful. Babysitters talk. If word gets out on the street that you are a less than favorable employer, you can pretty much kiss date-nights goodbye.
11 Things to Avoid if you Want to Keep a Babysitter
Too Many Responsibilities
Rules, rules, rules. Of course there will be some rules the babysitter should enforce. But, if you provide a laundry list of rules that makes Santa’s naughty/nice list look short…well, it can be a lot for a babysitter to take in. “Help the kids do their homework,” “be sure to follow dietary restrictions,” “follow the bedtime schedule,” and so on. Some of these are required. Others aren’t. The babysitter is watching your children while you’re out, they aren’t replacement parents. Be sure not to overwhelm them.
The Velvet Rope House
Think Cameron Frye’s house from Ferris Beuller’s Day Off. If a babysitter can’t be comfortable in your house because it is too pristine and they’re scared to move anything, let alone mess something up…well, they may be paying more attention to that than to your kids. Besides, if they aren’t comfortable in your house…they probably won’t come back to your house.
The Pig Sty House
This is the reverse of the Velvet Rope House. I wouldn’t want to go into a house where I’d feel scared to sit down without worrying what might bite me. If your house is nasty, clean it up a little before the sitter comes over. You might even If you’re a hoarder? Well, hopefully you’re hoarding a babysitter, because you likely won’t get one to come stay in your house.
Payment Issues
As with any payment interaction, it’s best just to do it fairly. Don’t short change the person who you’ve entrusted your children with. Pay them what they’re worth. If you don’t, they won’t be back. Also, don’t make it awkward. Pay the fair price without haggling. Babysitters are generally younger, and won’t feel comfortable negotiating price. There’s a good chance they will end up not negotiating and simply take your offer. When this happens, don’t expect them back, and know that now all of the sitter’s friends know what a cheapskate you are.
Pay the sitter what they’re worth, and they’ll come back.
Late Arrivals
You have a verbal contract with your babysitter when you say, “we’ll be back at 10”. Keep your word and return home when you say you will. Many babysitters are basing their night on your promise. They may have to do homework that they’re expecting to get done after they leave. Or, maybe they’ve gotten permission from their parents to stay out until the time you’ve promised. Also, what if they have driving restrictions and can’t drive after a certain time?
Basically, it all boils down to the fact that you should be considerate of others.
Too Strict on the Kids
So the kids aren’t allowed to watch TV. They’re not allowed to play video games. They’re not allowed on the Internet. Ok, sure. But what are they supposed to do? Some parents are stricter on their kids than others. If you’ve completely limited the options for fun, the babysitter will be forced to be the sole outlet for entertainment. There’s a difference between watching kids for 4 hours and entertaining them for 4 hours. Expect your children’s new playmate to find alternative income.
Disciplinarian
When you’re not home, who’s in charge? The kid or the babysitter? Be sure to draw the line in the sand and let both know the deal. If your little monsters precious children are going on a rampage while you aren’t there, the babysitter needs to know they have the power to reprimand. Within limits, of course, so set those too. That way, no one has any questions. If your children are running the show, know that your babysitter is going to take their show on the road.
Big Brother
You put in surveillance to watch the babysitter so that you can be put at ease with that whole trust thing. Nanny cams. Video cameras filming from inside secret teddy bears. Makes sense? Sure, from your point of view. But, what about the babysitter’s point of view? It’s the exact opposite, isn’t it? If you don’t trust the babysitter, then don’t hire them.
Plan Ahead
Don’t call the day before and get mad when your babysitter can’t jump through the hoop you’ve created. Plan ahead so that your potential babysitter has time to work your special evening into their schedule. Someone recently thanked me because I planned ahead. People call her the day before or even the day of and, when she can’t accommodate them. She’s either already booked or (gasp) has her own plans, and they get mad at her!
We all know that isn’t the way someone should be.
Too Old to be Babysat
Know when your kids can take care of themselves, or younger siblings. It’ll be awkward and embarrassing if your babysitter is able to help your children with their homework because they’re in the same class. Many States have laws regarding when a child can be left alone. Here are some basic guidelines, but these will vary based on the maturity of your children.
Ages 7 & under – Children at this age should not be left alone for any period and this will include leaving children unattended in cars, children playgrounds, and other play areas that could be a risk.
Ages 8 to 10 years – Children at this age should not be left alone for more than 1 and half hours and only during daylight and evening hours. Children could not be left overnight
Ages 11 to 12 years – May be left alone for up to 3 hours but not late at night or in circumstances requiring inappropriate responsibility.
Ages 13 to 15 years – Children at this age can be left unattended and unsupervised, but the children cannot be left alone overnight.
Ages 16 to 17 years – Children at this age can be left unsupervised.
The Jude Law Law
Don’t hit on your babysitter. Just don’t.
Remember that our interactions with our babysitters are a 2-way street. We want to trust and be happy with them, but it’s just as important to them to trust and be happy with us. Thinking of this relationship from both points of view is the best way to ensure everyone is happy and keeps the relationship going the next time you plan your date night.
*Originally posted on FamiliesofMultiples.com
Be sure to check out our other parenting advice.
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